I do not feel prepared, but I do feel confident I will finish.
I feel I have learned so much in the past 2 weeks on mental toughness.
Since getting back from China I have struggled tremendously. There are a few things I have learned.
- What YOU do to your body determines what your body will do for YOU!
- You treat it like crap, it is going to give you crap.
- The way you tackle your workout is a direction flection on what YOU will get out of your workout
- You tackle it with a horrible attitude, it is going to give you a horrible performance!
- You can't expect 100% if you haven't given 100%
- You must give it your all in order to show your all.
The trip to China was out of my control. There were foods and drinks consumed that I definitely should have had more will power on - but then again, I was 2 weeks into a new job and felt I needed to go with the flow.
The air quality was poor. It made me feel sick to my stomach after an hour of running in it. The treadmill was in a hot humid gym. I really don't know how else I could have fixed my training situation.
If I had maintained a very strict diet, then I don't think my training would have gone to pieces when I got back. Not only did my body feel sluggish from the travel and diet, I also lost fitness. Once I got home I moved to my new neighborhood where I was surprised and found only hills to run on. Trying to get fitness back and only having hills to train on was basically a lose/lose situation for me.
Now, I realize I can't change how it all went - I chose my path and now I have to still walk down it until I get to the fork that I create to walk down the right path. I am currently very far into that progress and that fork is so close I can taste it!
The hills are going to make me a beast. In a sick way I have turned my thoughts to enjoy the hills because I know what is going to come out of it in the end. It sucks, it hurts, my heart races, it makes me want to throw up -- but I am doing it -- even if I have to walk... and I have no shame in walking right now.
Boston is a week away and I am not ready. There is no cheating a marathon. You can't cram in the training like you can for a test, you can't cut corners, you can't lie and you can't steal. It shows 100% what you put in -- pure honesty.
I'm going to run it. I am going to smile. It is going to hurt, but it is going to be fun. Boston is a privilege.