This sums up my run...

off to the dr to find out what is REALLY going on with my right foot.

remember...

Today I am reminding myself of this post 


and especially of these...

Never complain about my times or stress.
I will constantly compliment other runners, even when they are faster than me!!
I will give myself to my group runs every day (well maybe 2 days).
I will stop complaining about my weight. These 2 weeks are starting to show on my body, and I must run!!! I promise I will never say anything about my weight if I can run again - this is a HUGE thing for me!
I will practice better recovry - ICE and REST!!!



I am running again, that is what I wanted...  and I am taking it for granted!

Scared to Death

It has been a week since my diagnosis. I have not eaten a single piece of meat in 7 days. I don't think I have ever done this. I don't feel bad and I don't miss it. I have been eating peanut butter and greek yogurt to get my protein and also an occasional protein shake.

Here are the runs I have gotten in this week...

Monday: Swimming 1800 Meters
Tuesday: 5 Miles - outside
Wednesday: 7.16 Miles 60 Minutes - Treadmill
Thursday: 5.56 Miles 46 Minutes - Treadmill
Friday: 5.57 Miles 46 Minutes - Treadmill

Then lets talk about today... I was scheduled for an easy 14 Miles. I wanted to so badly get out and run and feel no pain in the foot and to conquer the 14 miles like my old self. On Thursday night I quit taking the medicine I was prescribed because 1. My foot was feeling fine and 2. I was feeling HORRIBLE.. I mean like sick to my stomach and all I wanted to do was curl up in ball and die horrible. Well Friday felt GREAT running on the treadmill, the sick feeling wasn't there and my foot was feeling great. Then Friday night came around...  went to bed and then was woken up around midnight by the "pain" creaping back... so I jumped up and decided to take the medicine...

I got up at 4:30 because I wanted to start running at 5. My foot was feeling a little pain, but once I put my shoes on and I jumped around it felt like I could handle it. So I set out at 5 to do my run. I was feeling a bit winded (which is the medicine) at first. I got my 3 miles in before I met up with the big group... then I set out again. My pace was extrememly slow, but I didn't care. My goal was just to get the 14 in. I was doing 8:45's. Half way through the run my stomach started killing me... like I needed to find a bathroom- stat - but there were non on the course. I tried to ignore it, but then it started turning into a sick feeling. All of my friends had long left me because their paces are like 8:00-8:15's and there I was almost doing 9:00 miles! (this is so embarrassing to me, by the way, but whatever - I am determined to get past this obstacle - I KNOW I will get my normal self back some day). So I kept on with the stomach issues... I was trying every mental trick I could find... I was changing my IPOD every 30 seconds trying to find "that" song that would motivate me - but nothing was working.

I made it back to the group start - which means I had less than 3 miles to go... I got water and tried to set out again - but I had nothing left... I was at 11.80 miles... I know I only had 2.2 to go but there was nothing left. I decided to turn around and ask for a ride back... this was me at my lowest point of running in my head.. but I did it anyways - I wasn't going to let my pride get in the way and cause more problems. Luckily the first couple I asked was more than happy to get me back to my car.

So I ended up doing 11.8 Miles at an 8:45 pace.

THE.WORST.RUN of this runners life.

I am scared to death that this issue is not going to go away.

I am scared to death that I won't be able to run NYC.

I am scared to death of having to give up.

I am not going to let this get to me - I got through a stress fracture - I can get through this - whatever "this" is.