I have been asking myself this entire week "Why do I race" and I even blogged about it. Today I have done a lot of thinking about it and I still do not have an answer. Now, when I ask myself this question, it is not implying that I do not want to race, it is simply trying to find the reason I do it... what motivates me? I am having problems as of lately trying to find this within me. The past year has been an amazing running year for me because I found out I could run, and race with descent times. Now I have hit a spot in my "running career" where I have found a plateau and if I want to get past it I am going to have to work for it. The motivation/reason question regarding running is because I need to find why I want to do it so that I can have reason!!
I did not take this race as serious as I should have, in fact I truly disrespected it. I did not have a goal. I went out like a crazy person until 4:30 am on Friday night, and then woke up at 6:30 am on Saturday and then only had about 7 hours of sleep on Saturday night. I did not have any desire to run this race. Most of the girls I run with did. And they wanted to run well, and there I was not caring at all. A lot of people really believe in me, and want to see me do well and here I am not taking things serious. This is the part that really bothered me today. Maybe I had a realization as to how selfish that is. It is selfish of me to not care while everyone else around me does. It is selfish to not get excited, and it is selfish not to be happy with my times when I am the one that goes into the races without a care. OBVIOUSLY I DO CARE! So, with that said from here on out I promise to myself and all of my amazing supporters out there that I will treat my races with respect, I will take my training seriously, and I will be happy with every result. I still do not know why I race, but I do know that the people that are in my life because of running mean so much to me and I value their friendships more than they would ever or could ever realize. Their support and confidence in me is extremely amazing and appreciated, I could not ever come close to explaining how it feels to have that love. It isn't about a time, its not about having a great race every time, it isn't about always feeling good. It is about great friends and sometimes having a great race to be excited about.... in that order.
Stephanie, Jaime, Nicole and Jen.... you guys are the best. I had an amazing day and am so proud of each and everyone of you fabulous ladies. Thank you for always believing in me.
Oh, and if a studdly man by the name of Todd is reading this... you mean just as much to me :)